The short answer: keep a message on funeral flowers short, sign it clearly so the family knows who it is from, and write to the person or the family in your own words. A card works for any arrangement. A ribbon or banner has room for only a few words, so it needs to be even shorter. This guide gives examples for each, by your relationship, and covers what to leave out.
Card, ribbon or banner: what is the difference?
A card sits with the arrangement and is read up close, often by the family after the service. It has room for a sentence or two, and it is the place for your name. Every order from Mystic Flowers includes a free handwritten card.
A ribbon or banner is laid across a wreath, a standing spray or a casket spray, and it is meant to be read from a few steps away. It usually holds a short phrase naming the relationship, such as "Beloved Father" or "Dear Friend". If you would like a ribbon with wording on a piece from our shop, please call us at 905-677-9999 before you order and ask what is possible for that design. Some designs already include one, such as the "Little Angel" ribbon on The Touch of Sympathy Casket Spray.
Short wording for a ribbon or banner
Three to five words is a good length. A few phrases families often use:
- Beloved Husband, Father and Grandfather
- Our Dear Mother
- Forever in Our Hearts
- Always Loved, Never Forgotten
- Rest in Peace, Dear Friend
- Gone but Not Forgotten
- With Deepest Sympathy
- Loving Grandma, from All the Grandchildren
A nickname can be lovely on a card, where the family will know who it means, but everyone in the room will read a ribbon, so check with the family first. For a family with a first language other than English, a phrase in that language can mean a great deal. Have someone who speaks it check the spelling, and ask us before you order whether it can be written that way.
Messages for a card, by relationship
A parent or grandparent
- "Forever in our hearts. With all our love, your family."
- "Thank you for everything you taught us. We miss you every day."
A spouse or partner
- "My love, my best friend. Until we meet again."
- "Forty-two years was not enough. Always yours."
A friend
- "Thank you for all the laughs. Rest easy, my friend."
- "Our lives were better with you in them. Thinking of your family today."
A coworker or boss
- "With deepest sympathy from all of us at the office."
- "She was a pleasure to work with, and we will miss her. Our thoughts are with your family."
A neighbour or acquaintance
- "With sympathy, from your neighbours at number 14."
- "He was always kind to us. We are thinking of you."
For more wording, and for messages to send to a family home rather than a service, read our guide on what to write on a sympathy card.
How to sign it
This is the part people forget. In the days after a funeral, the family often goes back through the cards to see who sent what, so make it easy for them.
- Use your full name if the family may not know you well: "Sandra and Mike Lee" rather than "Sandra and Mike".
- For a group, name the group clearly: "From your friends on the second floor" or "Your friends at the curling club".
- Add how you knew the person if it might not be obvious: "We worked with Paul at the plant for 20 years".
What to leave out
- Anything about how they died. A card is not the place for it, even if you know the details.
- "At least" and "everything happens for a reason". They are meant kindly, and they rarely land well.
- Religious wording, unless you know it fits. "In our prayers" is a comfort to some families and not to others. Our guide to funeral flower etiquette for different faiths and cultures covers the common customs.
- Long stories. Save them for the reception, or write a letter to the family later.
Giving us the wording
When you order, type your message exactly as you would like it to appear, and check names and spelling. If you would like to talk it through, or if you are ordering a larger piece with several people signing, call us at 905-677-9999.
Please also add the name of the person who passed away, the funeral home, and the drop-off time in your order notes at checkout, so your tribute reaches the right room in time. Our funeral home list has addresses. Browse our funeral wreaths, standing sprays and casket sprays, or all of our sympathy and funeral flowers. Every piece is hand-arranged in our Mississauga studio, and delivery is free on orders of $50 or more.