The short answer: when you have lost a parent or grandparent, the immediate family usually chooses the casket spray, and children often add a standing spray, a wreath or a heart. Grandchildren traditionally send a casket pillow or a heart together. Choose colours and flowers that remind you of the person, keep the card message simple, and let your funeral home and florist help with the details.
Losing a mother, a father or a grandparent is one of the hardest things a family goes through, and planning flowers can feel like one more decision at a time when you have little energy for any of them. This guide explains the traditions in plain terms, so you can make choices that feel right and then step back.
Flowers chosen by the immediate family
When a parent dies, their spouse and children are usually the ones arranging the funeral, and the flowers on and around the casket are part of that. These are traditions, not rules, and every family is different.
- The casket spray. A spray that rests on top of the casket is traditionally chosen by the spouse or the children together. It is the centrepiece of the visitation and the service. You can see our designs in casket sprays.
- A matching standing spray or wreath. Many families add a standing spray or a wreath on an easel in the same colours, placed at the head or the foot of the casket.
- Coordinated tributes. If you would rather not choose each piece separately, our funeral packages combine a casket spray with standing pieces in matching flowers.
If your parent is being cremated, the same thinking applies to flowers around the urn. Our guide to flowers for a cremation or memorial service explains the options.
Flowers from adult children and their families
Adult children who are not arranging the funeral themselves, or who live with their own families, often send a tribute of their own. A heart-shaped wreath is a traditional choice from a son or daughter, because it speaks so clearly of love. A standing spray signed from "your loving son and family" or "your daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren" is another. Browse our funeral wreaths, hearts and easels to compare shapes.
Siblings sometimes decide to send one larger piece together instead of several smaller ones. That is completely fine, and it often means a fuller, more generous tribute.
Flowers from grandchildren
Grandchildren have their own place in funeral traditions. A casket pillow, a small arrangement that sits inside the lid of an open casket, is a classic gift from grandchildren. A heart or a standing spray signed "from all the grandchildren" is just as meaningful, and it lets cousins of different ages contribute together. Very young grandchildren can help choose a colour or a favourite flower, which can be a gentle way to include them.
Choosing colours and flowers for a mother or grandmother
There is no wrong choice, but some ideas families often find helpful:
- Soft pinks, lavender and white feel gentle and loving, and they are often chosen for a mother or grandmother. See our pink flowers.
- Her favourite flower, or the flowers she grew in her garden, can make a tribute feel personal.
- Bright mixed colours suit someone who was cheerful, social and full of life.
Choosing colours and flowers for a father or grandfather
- Deep red roses and carnations express love and respect, and red and white together look strong and classic. See our red flowers.
- All white tributes feel calm and dignified, and they suit almost any service. See our white flowers.
- Greens, natural textures and flowers in his favourite team or country colours can reflect his interests.
Some of our wreaths and standing hearts can be made in the colours you choose. Add a note to your order, or call us to talk it through.
Faith and family customs
Customs around funeral flowers differ between faiths and cultures. Some traditions welcome large floral tributes, while others prefer simple white flowers, flowers sent to the home, or no flowers at all. If you are unsure, follow the wishes of the family and the guidance of the funeral home. Our guide to funeral flower etiquette for different faiths and cultures covers the common customs.
What to write on the card
Every order includes a free handwritten card. For a parent or grandparent, short and heartfelt is best:
- "Forever in our hearts, Mom. With all our love."
- "To the best dad and grandpa. We love you and will miss you always."
- "Love always, your grandchildren."
For more ideas, read what to write on a sympathy card.
Ordering and delivery
When you order, tell us the name of the funeral home, the full name of your parent or grandparent, and the date and time of the visitation or service. Please add the drop-off time in your order notes at checkout. All funeral flowers are delivered directly to the funeral home, so you do not need to arrange anything with them yourself. Our guide to what flowers to send to a funeral home explains each type of tribute in more detail.
Every tribute is hand-arranged by our florists in our Mississauga studio and delivered to funeral homes across the GTA. Delivery is free on orders over $50. If you would like help choosing, call us at 905-677-9999 and we will take care of the details with you.