The short answer: yes, flowers are welcome at a cremation or memorial service, just as they are at a funeral with a casket. Send arrangements that can stand beside the urn and a photograph, such as an urn piece, a standing spray or a vase arrangement, and send them for the day of the service, which may be days or weeks after the death. If the family has asked for donations instead of flowers, respect that and send a card or a gift to the home later.
More families in Canada now choose cremation, and the services that go with it vary a great deal. Here is how to choose and send flowers that fit.
Funeral, memorial or celebration of life?
It helps to know what kind of gathering is planned, because it shapes what you send and when.
- A funeral before cremation has the body present, usually in a casket, with cremation afterwards. Flowers are the same as for any funeral, including a casket spray from the immediate family.
- A memorial service is held after cremation, with the urn and often a photograph at the front of the room. It may take place at a funeral home, a place of worship, a hall or a family home.
- A celebration of life is usually less formal and focuses on the person's life and personality. Bright colours and the person's favourite flowers are often more fitting than traditional white.
- The placing of the urn in a cemetery niche, a crypt or a family plot may be a separate, smaller gathering, often for close family only.
The death notice or obituary usually says which of these is planned. If it does not, ask the funeral home.
Timing is different with cremation
With a traditional funeral, the service is usually within a week. With cremation, the family may wait until relatives can travel, or until a meaningful date. That means the service could be weeks away. Check the date and time before you order, and plan for your flowers to arrive on the day of the service, not the day you heard the news. When you order, add the drop-off time in the order notes at checkout so the arrangement is in place before guests arrive.
Which flowers work around an urn
An urn is small, so the flowers around it should frame it, not hide it. These pieces work well:
- Urn arrangements sit on the table around or beside the urn. See our cremation and urn flowers.
- Standing sprays stand on an easel beside the table, adding height without crowding the urn. They are a fitting gift from co-workers, neighbours, a team or a community group. See our standing sprays.
- Vase and basket arrangements suit a side table and can go home with the family afterwards. See our funeral arrangements.
- Wreaths on an easel are a traditional tribute from close family and friends.
Avoid very tall or wide table pieces that would block the urn or the photograph. If you are not sure how the room will be set up, the funeral director can tell you.
Who sends what
There are no strict rules, but these customs are common:
- The immediate family usually chooses the main piece beside the urn.
- Extended family and close friends often send standing sprays, wreaths or arrangements.
- Colleagues and groups often send one standing spray or arrangement together, signed from the group.
- Friends who cannot attend often send a vase arrangement or a plant to the family home.
When the family asks for donations instead
Some notices say "in lieu of flowers" and name a charity. That is a request to honour. You can still send a sympathy card, and many people send a small arrangement or a plant to the family home a few weeks later, when the visitors have gone and a reminder that someone cares means a great deal.
Choosing colours
White and cream are the most traditional sympathy colours and suit any service. Soft pinks, lavender and blue are gentle alternatives. For a celebration of life, the person's favourite colour or flower is often the most personal choice of all. Our white flowers are a good place to start for a traditional tribute.
What to write on the card
Keep the message short and sincere. "With deepest sympathy" or "Remembering Margaret with love" is enough. If you knew the person well, a short memory means a great deal to the family. Sign with your full name, and your family's or group's name if it is from several people. For more ideas, read what to write on a sympathy card.
Sending flowers in Mississauga and the GTA
We deliver sympathy flowers to funeral homes, places of worship and family homes across the GTA. Every arrangement is hand-arranged in our Mississauga studio, every order includes a free handwritten card, and delivery is free on orders of $50 or more. For a service at Assumption Catholic Cemetery, see our Catholic Cremation Services page, and for other homes see our funeral home list. Browse all sympathy and funeral flowers, or call our studio at 905-677-9999 for help planning a delivery.