The short answer: in most Christian, Orthodox and secular services across the GTA, sympathy flowers are welcome and expected. In some other faiths, flowers are less usual, and a food basket, a plant sent to the home, or a donation may be kinder. Customs vary a great deal between families, so the safest rule is always to check the obituary or ask the funeral home before you order.
Toronto and Peel are home to families of almost every faith and culture. This guide covers the general customs that are widely published, so you can choose with confidence. It is a starting point, not a rulebook, and the family's own wishes always come first.
Start with the family's wishes
Before you think about colours or styles, read the obituary or the funeral home's online notice. Look for phrases such as "in lieu of flowers", which means the family would prefer a donation to a named charity. If the notice says nothing, the funeral director can usually tell you whether flowers are appropriate and where they should go: the funeral home, the place of worship or the family's home.
When in doubt, a gentle gesture sent to the home a few days later is rarely wrong. For more on choosing and delivering tributes, see our guide to what flowers to send to a funeral home in the GTA.
Christian traditions
In Catholic, Anglican, United, Protestant and evangelical services, flowers are a familiar part of mourning. Families often choose a casket spray, and friends, coworkers and relatives send standing sprays, wreaths or arrangements for the visitation. Lilies, roses and carnations are common choices, and white is the most traditional colour, although many families welcome soft pastels or the person's favourite blooms.
Some Catholic parishes keep flowers in the church to a minimum during the funeral Mass, so larger tributes usually go to the funeral home for the visitation. A smaller arrangement or a plant sent to the family's home is always appropriate.
Orthodox Christian traditions
Greek, Serbian, Ukrainian, Russian and other Orthodox families generally welcome flowers, and white blooms are widely used. Wreaths and arrangements are often placed near the casket. Because customs differ between communities and parishes, it is worth asking the funeral home where tributes should be delivered.
Jewish traditions
Flowers are generally not part of a traditional Jewish funeral, and they are not usually sent to the funeral or to the shiva home. The more common gestures are a donation to a cause the family names, or food for the household during shiva, when friends visit and the family receives guests. A basket of fruit or treats is a thoughtful choice. Please note that gift baskets need to be ordered one day in advance. Some families, particularly in more liberal congregations, do welcome flowers, so the notice or the family's wishes should guide you.
Muslim traditions
Islamic funerals are simple and usually take place very quickly after a death. Elaborate floral tributes are not usually part of the service, and practice varies between families and communities. Many people prefer to offer condolences in person, send food to the family, or make a donation. If you would like to send something, a modest arrangement or a plant sent to the family's home afterward is often the most considerate option, and it is best to ask a close relative first.
Hindu traditions
In Hindu traditions, white is the colour of mourning, and simple white flowers or garlands are widely used. Many families prefer that guests bring flowers in person rather than send large arrangements, and cremation usually follows soon after the death. If you are not sure, a modest arrangement of white flowers sent to the home is a respectful choice.
Sikh traditions
Sikh funerals are generally simple, and large floral displays are not usually expected. Families may welcome a small arrangement at the funeral home, but many guests choose to offer support to the family directly or make a donation. Asking the family or the funeral home is the best guide.
Buddhist and Chinese traditions
At many Buddhist services, white or soft coloured flowers are appropriate, and red is widely avoided because it is associated with celebration. In many Chinese families, white and yellow flowers, especially chrysanthemums, are traditional for mourning, and wreaths or standing sprays may be displayed at the funeral home. Families of Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and other heritage often follow different customs, so let the family's wishes lead.
Secular services and celebrations of life
A secular funeral or a celebration of life often has no fixed rules, and many families welcome bright, cheerful flowers that reflect the person's personality. A favourite colour, a garden style arrangement or a flowering plant can all feel right. If you are deciding between the two, our guide to sympathy plants or flowers can help.
Safe choices when you are unsure
- Choose white or soft colours. White is respectful in nearly every tradition. Avoid bright red unless you know the family welcomes it.
- Keep it modest. A tasteful arrangement rarely causes offence, while a very large tribute can feel out of place at a simple service.
- Send to the home if unsure. A smaller gesture sent to the family's home, a little after the service, is welcome in most cultures.
- Consider food or a donation. In traditions where flowers are not customary, these are often the most appreciated gestures.
Writing the card
Whatever you send, the message matters most. Keep it short, sincere and free of religious wording unless you know the family shares your faith. Our guide on what to write on a sympathy card has wording you can adapt. Every order from Mystic Flowers includes a free handwritten card.
How we can help
Our sympathy arrangements are hand-arranged in our Mississauga studio, and we offer same-day delivery of fresh flowers across the GTA, with free delivery on orders over $50. Browse our sympathy and funeral flowers, or call us at 905-677-9999 if you would like help choosing something appropriate for a particular service.